It’s beautiful isn’t it? The sacred testimony which binds two people together as one. No one can deny that the beauty is in the simplicity of it all and that’s what marriage in Islam is all about. Keeping it simple and as inexpensive as it can get.

The Prophet (SAWS) said,

The most blessed Nikaah is that which bears the least amount of expense.

It’s painful though to see how marriages have started to work in todays time. What was once simple, beautiful and elegant has now turned into something that is burdensome, harsh and despicable. The main reason is the mixture of culture with religion. Involving culture in religious affairs can make matters really nasty. It usually ends up with one person or the other being oppressed and subjected to heinous forms of mental or physical torment. How relaxing it would be if we focus only on what Allah requires of us and save ourselves from so much pain and discomfort.

Take a look at how our society works and how easy it could be if we start following the way of Sunnah.

Simplicity of Marriage in Islam:

It’s really common nowadays to talk about marriage with someone and watch their face take on a troubled look. We can eliminate this trouble and worry by following one simple step. Practise the Sunnah Method of Marriage and everything related to it. Let’s go along the wrongs that have mixed up with marriage and the actual correct way to deal with it all.

Respect everyone’s self esteem:

It is the custom in todays time to inspect the candidate for marriage like one would inspect their cattle. You may often see and hear people releasing such comments.

“Don’t you think her height was a bit too short?”

“Her skin tone was overly dark.”

“I feel she might be too fat and she was wearing very thick glasses.”

It is a norm to go on discussing the height, colour, physique and other features of the girl or the boy and regarding one or the other with distaste. Some people even go as far as to say it right out in front of the girl and her family.

Islam orders all Muslims to respect each other and has strict rulings on hurting, belittling or looking down on anyone. Setting standards based on physical appearance is strictly against islamic teachings and the Prophets Values.

Marriage in Islam is all about creating a happy bond between a man and a woman. The Prophet (SAWS) said,

A woman is married for four things, for her her wealth, for her beauty, for her lineage and for her Deen. Do Be Successful by marrying her for her Deen.”

The Prophet (SAWS) made it clear what one should look for when searching for a spouse. Deen. Having a beautiful face and amazing features will have no effect whatsoever on the couples married life and in their dealings with each other. However, having a firm knowledge of Deen and implementing the Prophet’s teachings in all aspects of life is the key to living a happy life and keeping all those around happy as well. It makes the person keep in mind the rights and duties of everyone in the household which in turn helps in keeping the environment stable and healthy.

Don’t Make Wealth Your Primary Focus:

Marriage has become more of a business than a sacred pact. It’s sad how many people have their eyes on the wealth and luxury of the bride or the groom. They will completely disregard all other factors affecting the match and only nod their head in agreement by assessing how advantageous it could be financially.

Though Islam does not discourage having wealth and money, keep in mind that one should always follow the commandments of Allah as well.

The Prophet (SAWS) said,

There is nothing wrong with richness for those who fear Allah (SWT)

Marriage in Islam is recommended to be in a family of equal status. The reason for this is so the woman does not face any difficulty during married life due to a sudden change in her lifestyle. A girl, who is brought up having all she needs at her disposal will find it hard to adapt to a lifestyle in which she has to hold back and be limited. This will ultimately cause frustration and lead to fights and an unhappy life which goes against the very meaning of marriage. This equality in marriage is not based on discrimination but keeping in mind the nature of human beings. If, however, a man and a woman of different status are compatible there is nothing wrong in forming the marriage bond between them. Every girl copes with situations differently and has different priorities.

Even in these circumstances, it is unadvised to become greedy over wealth and disregard other more important factors affecting a happy marriage like the nature of the groom and his family which contradicts that of the girl. If a girl lives an extra lavish life but is the victim of mental abuse and toxic dealings will not be satisfied and happy even with riches.

Marriage in Islam has only one event.

Have you dealt with the unending ceremonies of marriage that keep going on and on? It is sort of how it all works especially in Desi countries. No small action will take place without a whole bunch of arrangements, invitation, dinners and decoration. To top it all every ceremony is accompanied with a different pair of ridiculously expensive dresses and jewellery. I have actually heard people honestly confess how this whole money spilling was only done so they wont be seen as incapable of sharing happiness and being stingy

In Islam, marriage is completed by a simple proposal and an acceptance in the presence of at least two male witnesses or one male and two female witnesses.

A feast thrown by the groom is the only event proven by the Sunnah. Adding anything other than that and regarding it as necessary is only creating burdens and problems for yourself as well straying from the Path of Sunnah. Do yourself and the whole community a favour by exemplifying a marriage without any of these ceremonies. One person’s actions go a long way. Your action might just pave the way for a lot of other people who are sick and tired of this tradition. Save them from this burden and bring marriage back to what it originally was. Simple, beautiful and elegant!

Islam encourages a reasonable dowry.

Ever heard of the amount of dowry that makes you feel like your head is going to explode? Many times the excessive amount of dowry is just for show and it becomes too much for the groom to pay. Setting the amount of dowry has become such a trouble when getting married in todays time.

Setting a dowry (Mahr) for the wife is necessary in marriage whether it be small or big. The minimum amount is 10 dirhams and there is no limit to how high it could go.

However, the amount should not be extraordinarily high. It is mentioned in a Hadith that the best wife is the one whose Mahr is very simple. Meaning it should not exceed the amount in which it becomes difficult for the man to fulfil it.

The dowry of the Prophet (SAWS)’s wives was 500 dirhams (silver coins) which equals to 1530.8 grams of Silver.

Marriage in Islam is not accompanied with costly gifts.

Marriage brings with it massive amount of gifts. At times, the requirements of these gifts exceed the affordability of the gifter. It is also seen in weddings that gifts are given as compensation for the invitation. In some cases people expect to receive a similiar gift  later on in their wedding.

Islam encourages extending gifts to others. The Prophet (SAWS) said in a Hadith,

Exchange gifts with on another you will start loving each other (Adaab al mufrad)

However, Islam considers gifting to be a voluntary act. A person should not be gift out of pressure while it is out of his range. The meaning of gifts is to extend love, not create more burdens and stress. The tradition of calculating gifts, writing them all down and expecting the same amount back does not go along with Islamic rulings as well. Gifting is a voluntary act not a business.

Islamic Marriage can be performed with any number of guests.

Save the huge crowd in your wedding for the Nikaah. Let them be with you while the Qadhi makes Dua. Collect their Ameens and make them witness your hapiness simply by inviting them to the Masjid. You don’t need to hold grand ceremonies and invite the most random of people. Many of those are such which are so distant and you might meet just meet them 10 years later. The smaller and simpler the wedding and Walima is, the better. The wedding is supposed to be happy and joyous, not troublesome and hectic.

Conclusion:

Don’t let yourself be scared away from having a small, intimate and peaceful marriage. I had a small and simple wedding and it was the most memorable day of my life! Every minute left lasting feelings. Especially because everyone was at ease and no one was burdened by any sort of extravaganzas!

Have you witnessed a simple and elegant wedding? What were your thoughts about it? Share in the  comment section below!